To share or not to share: the process of revealing valuable experience from the self-professed introvert.

by kajudkins

hide n seek

As with many things in life, it is a choice to share oneself with others. It is my choice what I share with others. I don’t mean literally, I am keeping my cyber pants on, I mean sharing my experience via social media. That which is kept afloat through peoples sharing (sometimes sharing everything, not everyone keeps their cyber pants on).

But anyway, while I am not entirely new to social media (I have, for example, written many a silly or serious post on Facebook) I am new to the public blogging experience. I am deepening my involvement in the social media world though through my “Listen” Facebook page and this blog and I find myself struggling over…sharing. Specifically, how much…when to share and, frankly, what to share at all. At the surface this seems ridiculous, why would I have a blog to begin with??? But at the surface most things seem ridiculous. Obviously there are deeper, buried reasons that are contributing to my fears. I do know deep down somewhere in the bowels of my self-conscious and/or soul that I have valuable experience to share – I know that it is a process to get it out, see title.* This blog is a tool to do that.

My fear and hesitation is especially interesting given that my major motivator for my Facebook page and blog is to”market” my Listening service…Get involved in my grey matter world here, I am reluctant to SHARE and trust my social media world whilst asking/inviting others to share with and trust me. One might say those who can’t teach? I prefer those who can’t (yet) practice (a lot). haha.

It may come as a surprise to those who know me that although I work in Customer Service, after consuming enough coffee I can chatter non-stop and I can converse with almost anyone about almost anything…I consider myself to be introverted and in many areas of my life a very private person. That being true, if I allow the introvert in me to get out of hand and keep too much of myself “private” it will turn into secrecy and I will close myself off from others. Secrecy and closing oneself off is counter-productive to achieving what I know to be true about sharing ourselves (myself).

Sharing ourselves with each other is an act of love. It is in our sharing where we learn to trust ourselves and our voice, where we learn about one another and recognize not only our differences but what connects us (short break from cheesy truth! Does anyone else hear Kumbayah? If you need some water, or a tissue, now is the time to get it). Knowledge is power! Knowledge about ourselves, other people and the rest of the world! I also believe that we are as sick as our secrets and when we speak and share them we reduce and begin to eliminate their power over us. One of my challenges in life *I can thank my Libra Saturn for this* is to find a balance between doing what I am comfortable with (yes, please?) and doing what I know to be the right thing – “right” meaning truly best for my personal growth and happiness and for those around me…Annnnnd achieving it may (read: Will) involve stepping out of my comfort zone. Darnit! Growth always seem to involve that…

A friend of mine insists that I share about this process…which is what I am doing…Because practice makes better than you were doing they say. I want to be better at sharing to create a safe, positive space for myself to reside in but also continue to create a safe and positive space for others.

So bear with me all while I work with myself through this. I believe that the Universe will prompt me to share when I need to and those in my current or future life life will share with me when they feel the need. I know that the only way to become comfortable with sharing, and in the converse create a comfortable space for others, is to SHARE. I would prefer the comfort come before the act but alas, no one asked me.

On a different but related note, I heard this song on the radio for the first time on my way home from work today…Her catchy, oh so very human sounding intro piqued my interest so I trudged on…and she manages to works the word “extrapolate” in so eloquently and appropriately into the song. While I do not intend to adopt her philosophy entirely I very much like the overall message. I also love that it came into my world via my car radio in the ol’ Escort, on the same day I have been formulating and working through this message. Go Mary! Mary Lambert “Secrets”

And then there were two. I went on to search for songs about secrets (I can’t quit!) and this one showed up under the “9 Pop Songs with Secret Queer Subtexts.”  There is ALWAYS  room for one more pop song with a queer subtext:

More to come in this five (six? eighteen? the rest of my life?)-part process! Expect more references to the Universe, mad attempts at self and other love, queer material (not necessarily as a subtext) and a few catchy Pop songs! Probably cute animal photos! Thank you all.